Joke Of The Day

There's a newspaper columnist, Heather,
Doesn't like that her feature is nether
Daily weather forecast,
So the gal is downcast
And complains that she's under the weather.
(Kirk Miller)

Candy prices at movies can get
So darn high, you will be upset.
Don't know what the price
Will be. It's not nice
'Cause they always are Raisinette.
(Kirk Miller)

"That last light fixture joke, you buffoon,"
Said my wife, "I'll deride and impugn."
Every time I attempt
Jokes 'bout lights, her contempt
Is expressed by a snarky lamp-oon.
(Kirk Miller)

Office manager runs a tight ship
With supplies. An employee did quip:
"Thing are so expensive
That I'm apprehensive.
Micromanagement's rule: pay per clip."
(Kirk Miller)

Sweater shopper is known to bicker
With store's sales staff. She loves to dicker.
No reason's too tiny
For her to get whiney
Which is why she is called a knit-picker.
(Kirk Miller)

The man cried playing tennis 'cause jeering
Made him sad, and now he'll be appearing
In court; was arrested.
His conduct's detested.
The cops booked him for racket tearing.
(Kirk Miller)

When he saw a hot babe, he'd bestow her
With a wolf whistle, meaning to show her
She's sexy. Gal got riled;
Harassment suit was filed.
It was by, and against, whistle blower.
(Kirk Miller)

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